Its just one of those days. I've been on the verge of tears since I woke up. I always hope that the weeks and months of melancholy will be punctuated by weeks and months of peace, but this latest bout is worse than it's been before. My wife is watching me closely, wondering if an explosion is immanent; some horrifying break with all she's known and cherished... and of course, that is precisely what I can be... a very loving, caring, possibly ticking bomb. We just don't know.
In the mean time, I want to cry, and can't, because of my Y-chromosome... It's just not socially acceptable, even tolerable... and I couldn't tell anyone what the matter was anyway. Will it pass soon? I pray it will, but I don't know precisely where His plan for me actually lies, so I know not how to hope, except that I can hope in Him in a general way... Isaiah 40 records the prophet asking, "why do you say your way is hidden from the Lord? Why do you say the Lord has disregarded you?" (paraphrase). But He, like so many of you, know how hard the emotions can be.
Sometimes a girl just needs to cry... even if she's a boy.
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