Feeling very awesomely girl today

I didn’t have nightmares or even bad dreams all last night, which is first in a long while. I actually had some sort of good dream (even rarer) in which I was my real gender. All my good dreams are like that… they just don’t happen very often… a couple times a year. Hey, it’s only the second week of this year… so either I’m going to have a great dream-year, or I’ve already used one up. =)

I wore a pretty scarf on my bike ride to work. My hair is long enough now that all these little curls are peaking out from under my bike helmet and I LOVE them. I lost too much weight over break due to stress, not eating, throwing up because of stress, and not eating because of stress… and I was pretty stressed… but, now that I’m eating again, and feeling somewhat healthier, I decided to take a look. Here’s the thing, I’ve got pretty thighs. (Nicole knows how embarrassed I am to say such a thing out loud). Apparently I passed some corner there with the whole bikeriding thing.

I’m not sure just why I’m having such an up day. I think its because of the genetics research they just announced (even if the article version called me a transsexual man…). I don’t mind the idea of having developed a female mind because of unknown, rare environmental triggers, but if they are right, it means my genes need to be in place too. There is more to it than just genetics, but the genetics look like they have to be there. What does that mean, you ask? It means that I am not just a psychological girl; I am a genetic female. We think of XX and XY being the whole story, but they are just the typical patterns that are followed. There are, it seems, other pathways. Certainly, all my other T related genes are NOT what I’d like them to be, but, with a bit of gene sequencing, they’ve shown me that it was part of my design all along to be a girl… not a mistake… not just circumstance… but from a biological perspective, what I was designed to be (given the correct triggers). And thank God for that, because without those little gene sequences, I might have been a boy…